Breaking Rules Of Silence: why no man stands alone

Our logo says three things, one under the other:

1. BROS. The name.
2. Breaking Rules Of Silence. What the name stands for, and what we do.
3. No man stands alone. Why it matters: the promise we make to every man who walks through the door.

The first two explain the third. Break the silence, and you stop standing on your own.

The rules of silence

Most men grow up with a set of rules nobody ever writes down:

• Don't make a fuss.
• Sort it yourself.
• Be the strong one.
• When someone asks how you are, say "fine".

Those rules get a lot of us through a lot of things. But they also leave a lot of men carrying stuff on their own: money worries, a relationship falling apart, a job that's grinding them down, a loss they never talked about. From the outside, everything looks fine. Inside, it's heavy.

That's where the name comes from. BROS means Breaking Rules Of Silence. Not all of them, and not all at once. Just enough that you don't have to carry it on your own.

What BROS is

• Free events where men can get together, do something, and talk if they want to.
• No pressure. You can come, train, play games, have a brew and leave without saying a word about yourself. Plenty do the first time.
• Run by blokes who've been there. Not experts in suits. Men who've had their own rough patches and know what helped.

What BROS isn't

We're not therapists, doctors or a crisis service, and we'll never pretend to be. What we can do is listen, and point you towards people who can help with the bigger stuff, from money advice to talking therapies through your GP.

Why it works

When men hear another man say "yeah, I've been struggling too", something shifts. It stops being your problem, the one you're weird for having, and becomes a problem, one other men have got through.

That's what "no man stands alone" means. Not that someone will fix everything for you. Just that you're not the only one, and you don't have to stand there by yourself.

Our first event is on Sunday 8 November at Body Ethics, Hitchin. Come along.

If you need to talk to someone right now, call Samaritans free on 116 123, any time, or text SHOUT to 85258. More numbers on our Get Help page.